im going to be pregnant forever and a day..

even knitting isn't helping today... *sigh*

no baby!

i'm sorry! false alarm....i did have lots of contractions last night and i couldn't sleep but baby is still womb side...

but, i did finish the 2nd kimono sweater last night and with about 14 inches of yarn to spare! i was sure that i would run out and have one sleeve with just a few rows left and no yarn but it worked out perfectly. i think im going to use buttons instead of ties for the closures, just to change things up a bit... i washed it last night in the washer on gentle because some great MDC mamas said it really helps peace fleece soften up and "bloom" and it really feels lush now...i didnt really love peace fleece when it came in the mail, but im really starting to see the beautiy in it!
im going to knit a matching peace fleece soaker today in pink and turquise stripes i think.. and here is a picture of the whole "new baby" outfit that i've made..





if this baby doesn't come soon its going to drown in my basket of hand knits.

i'm not totally certain, but i think this baby may be born sometime in the next day or so.. i'm feeling some really big changes in my body and i'm feeling very sensitive to sounds and goings ons around me.. not something i usually feel.

we spent a beautiful day on the beach collecting shells and treasure to put on the birth altar. it was sunny and crisp. being at the ocean felt so good! living up where we are is lovely, but once in a while the Pisces in my craves the ocean...

so if i don't post here for a while, it probably means baby has come!

baby name revisited..40 weeks +3 days!

yes, again! until this baby is born i'm going to quietly agonize over names..

The other night my sister and timothy and a few other random people were again talking about baby names for my baby (believe it or not i don't bring it up!).. then the name Matilda popped up and i instantly loved it. i'm still pretty set on Olive, so i Thought Matilda Olive Suzanna (my sister's middle name and my midwife's name...) Sabine sounded very nice..
it spells "Moss" i love it. timothy.... isn't so sure..

Matilda is an old German name meaning "mighty in battle" and in some translations "mighty battle maiden" very heavy metal, huh.. but i figure, in life you have to be mighty in battle, at least some of the time. It is a good name. i'm usually more inclined towards the serene and beautiful, but somehow i feel like this name fits. Olive is symbolic of peace so it balances out the battle part and Suzanna means Lily..i love plant names!

pictures finally..

here is the sweet baby cap. i so wish i had a head to try it on!!

and the kimono..still working on the last tie, but its pretty close to being wearable.

Its my due date!

It's been a beautiful sunny day here which is a big change from the almost torrential rains of the last few weeks.. last night it rained so hard that all i could hear was the constant patter of huge drops on the roof.. i love rain when i'm inside and cozy snuggled up with a nice cup of tea and a book, or a knitting project!

we just got home from a nice walk in the forest with all 3 dogs (our pup finn, my moms dog willow and my sister's dog katie) & the kids..they always have such a nice time in the woods collecting sticks and ferns and rocks...jumping in mud puddles and climbing up and down tree stumps. at the end of the path sitting on a log in the creek was a huge old Blue Heron. he was just beautiful and so serene and still. ngaio was screetching and he didn't move a muscle. i wish so much that i had my camera. it was such a stunning sight.

Ive been working on a hat the last 2 days that is a bit unusual for me.. its knit with super fine yarn and small needles (baby weight bamboo/wool and 2.5mm &3mm needles) im almost done now...the pattern is here. My knitter friend anna just knit the same hat and said that it turned out tiny, but mine seems huge.. its most likely NOT going to fit a newborn baby. i wonder why they turned out so differently....she must have used lace weight yarn or something!

The kimono is done but for one tie..i'm not a huge fan of doing i-cord, so i took a break. it looks like it wont fit till babe is 6 months old or so anyways, so no rush.. i tried it on our 1 year old foster babe who is pretty tiny and it is kind of short on him but its Very sweet.

happy due date to me!

pizza party!

my sister and ngaio made pizza tonight for supper... it has goat cheese, olives, pumpkin seeda & gouda with home made sauce and pumpkin dough. very gourmet!


and this is the half eaten pumpkin and spice bundt cake they made.. YUM!

a sweater that took forever.

i can't actually believe that this is off the needles.. it was such a nightmare to knit.. not because it was hard, but because i ran out of the yarn then couldn't get more.. so it sat..and sat..and sat.. for months..maybe even a year. then i was digging around in my knitting bag (one of many) and found it and said "i have to finish this" so i knit up the rest in another random colourway of the same parentage and dyed it black..then i knit the ribbing with the same HPY but in this beautiful olive green. it turned out really well. except that it was supposed to be for ngaio and it barely fits elwynn.. but oh well.. i hate doing guage swatches, so i have to suck it up..

here it is.. and my sweet elwynn as the model!

For the Love of Yarn!

i'm working on this super cute kimono pattern from "for the love of yarn"
(picture from website, not my work!)


knitting it in this beautiful soft dark olivey green yarn from "hand painted yarn" its going to be so sweet when its complete...


sadly ive got baby brain drain and i did the edging all wrong and even though it looks okay i'm too much of a perfectionist to let it be..so ...ill probably frog most of it before doing it again properly...at least its keeping my mind off the fact that im now over 39 weeks, we have been here since the 19th of december and still im pregnant. i can't believe that i was worried about the baby coming early...i felt so rushed to get here..like any moment baby was goin gto just fall out.. now im not so sure. one thing i am sure of is that this wee one wont be 10lbs 5oz like her huge sister. im still measuring 37 weeks at 39, totally normal for this stage, but i was something like 42 at 40 weeks and so on.. she was 16 days "late" if a baby can ever be truly late.

despite being so impatient, i still haven't washed out the pool. it is blown up though...
i have mostly everything else that i need except some unbleached Indian prefolds that i plan to buy from a local mama "new and green" here in north vancouver.

i got a package of sweet organic baby things from a"Happy Green Bee" co-op today , so that was fun. it was a splurge and i'm a bit sad since their infant stuff is huge and probably wont fit for 6 months.. but oh well.. im sure the time will fly.

still not sure on names.
everyone in my family has a different idea and see's no problem in telling me how i should name the baby...of course im going to name her whatever i want (well..timothy has some say) but its hard being bombarded day after day with "so what ARE you going to name the baby anyways?"
like, maybe i need to meet her first! sheesh...

ok..going to watch some movie my sister downloaded..

happy knitting!

Thrift Strore Finds!

i love thrift store shopping.. i'm kind of out of practice since in our teeny tiny town, there isn't so much as a free box... but we do go to the big city of kamloops once in a while and i try to get some "retail therapy" time for myself...

yesterday i got to go have some fun in vancouver and this is what i found...

a too cute sage velour Newborn dress (it has matching undies too)
a teeny tiny "natural charm" sleeper and house coat (which i saw at a baby boutique for like 45$) and the cutest "GAP" velour jumper suit with a hood.. im not really one for name brands, or at least i wouldnt ever buy them new..but its fun to find nice baby things for so little!

curly purly soaker..

Here is a curly purly soaker in Newborn size...

not very exciting, but its something, right? at least i'm slowly feeling knitty again!

knit much..?

i haven't knit much these past few weeks.. i went to a knit with some mdc mommas who get together in the city and actually worked on a sweater that has been on the needles for over a year. its shameful! usually once i start something i can't stop! right now i have a newborn soaker, a sweater and a panta OTN..*sigh* i need some knitting juju.. i really should finish these things while baby is on the inside.

henna..

i decided that before i left little fort to have our new babe, i wanted to do something nice for myself..so, i spent 2 hours in the bathroom with a bag on my head.. the outcome, quite lovely! there is nothing like bright red hair to make a pregnant mama feel hot!
my recipe.. body art quality henna, lemon juice, time for the mixture to sit (over night at least)
then i put it on generously, cover with a bag (you look so sexy at this point!) and blow dry for about 2 hours.. rinse out well and ta-da!

birth art..

i just stuck this in here because i thought it was beautiful, but i should have said where it came from. i was searching for "birth affirmations" and decided to look up images and there it was.
it is from the birthrites website... i would love a copy of this for my wall!

Something magical this way comes!

now that my tooth ordeal is Finally Over! i can focus on baby! i got the tooth pulled this morning and it went pretty much as well as it could go...i have a bit of healing to do, but it won't take long.
lots of Arnica and rest is pretty much all i need now...

I'm Still thinking about names but more and more the name Zea is in my head... i have always had a thing about plant names.. i'm Fern, my partner Timothy is named after timothy grass (his farmer grandfather's best crop that year!) Ngaio is a native new zealand Tree/Shrub and Elwynn's 3rd name is Sage..

Zea means sweet corn (Zea Mays) it's a beautiful and sacred plant..and a sweet name i think...

i kind of even like Mays as a second name but i'm thinking of changing it to it Maize or Maezie..
Sabine is the other name i love!

now baby, you can come anytime! i'm ready...and excited!

round 2..

i had to go back for more IV antibiotics yesterday morning.. then i went to the dentist who tortured me for an hour and charged me $100.00 for the pain.. she didn't take out the tooth and now i have to go to the hospital and get dental surgery on thursday..im not in any pain now though, so its okay i guess. im just worn out from it all and ready fo it to be over and to be holding my new baby! that will make the whole past few weeks of hell better! im due in 11 days..so any day now.

my visit to the ER! 38 weeks pregnant..

last night around 8:30 the pain in my mouth/head got so bad that i had a major meltdown & panic attack and couldn't stop sobbing or even catch my breath. i called my midwife and she said "go to the medical clinic!" but none were open so i went to the ER.. hospitals are the LAST place in the world i will go.. i don't ever choose it, so this was pretty major for me... i wanted to go.
my dp took me while my mom put my 2 little ones to sleep (thank goddess for mothers!) as soon as the admitting nurse talked to me i burst into tears and she sat me down and took my BP which amazingly was lower than its been for my midwife since 25 weeks and she said "good!" (i have borderline high BP generally) my pulse was racing though..anyways..i calmed down and told her that i was 38 weeks pregnant and exhausted from no sleep for 5 nights and not being able to eat really anything and being in so much unbearable pain despite 3 full days on oral antibiotics and extra strength tylenol..then i waited, then they gave me a bracelet and took me down the hall to another waiting room full of puking and injured people. all i could do was sit with my eyes closed and rock in pain. finally a dr. came and took me to a bed and asked me what was going on and again i burst into tears (im such a dork) he looked my my mouth said "we can give you IV antibiotics and tylenol 3's or morphine pills but you have to see a dentist tomorrow!" so i went back and waited for the dr. and got the iv put in and got a huge dose of penicillin and some nasty green pills that im pretty sure were morphine because with about 15 minutes i was chatting and laughing with some guy with a shattered foot. it took a while for the iv drip to finish and the dr came back with some other pain meds for the night (t-3s..?!) and a prescription for tylenol 3's to fill today. all of this was done in a super uncomfy chair in a corner of their middle-of-a-reno ER ..after all of that my tummy was growling and i was totally thinking about eating KFC and ribs that i saw made on a cooking show earlier in the day while trying to distract myself (2 things i have never ever in my life eaten) and we were just hoping our car wasn't towed from the 15 minute parking lot that it had been in for the last 3 hours (it was 11:30 by the time we left the hospital) we finally got home and my stomach was in major pain from so much medication and no food, so i ate whole milk yogurt and a bagel with cream cheese and a glass of milk and it slowly went away..then i tried to sleep (im soOoOo tired) and to no avail. i was up all night again. not in pain.. i just could. not.sleep. i feel like a zombie..i read most of a trashy mystery novel staring china bales, ametuer detective and herb & tea shop owner and at about 3 am made some toast with nutritional yeast to drive away the gnawing hunger in my belly again.great night, huh?!
im not in any major pain and i have to go back again today for another dose of iv antibiotics (i had to keep the line in with this funky gauze handwarmer) so im just catching up here then going back to the hospital. i have a dentist appt. at 3 and then hopefully ill be on the road to normalcy again!!

oh and to top it off the hot water tank broke yesterday, so if i go into labour in the next few days..no water birth for us

*thank you baby for staying in and being so good and keeping me from jumping off a bridge in pain. i love you and can't wait to meet you!*

a little bit of home..

we are finally in the city to stay(at least for a few weeks) after months of being back and forth for midwife appointments..it's Christmas eve day and crisp and sunny and no snow to speak of, except up the montains that surround vancouver. i'm feeling a bit homesick for our snowy winter land and our cozy wood-warmed house.
i know that coming here to have the baby was the right choice, but there is nowhere like "home"
so here is a neat picture of our pretty little town, though not blanketed in winter (picture not taken by me..) to remind me that in a few weeks we will be back, and with our newest little one!!




and here are some pictures of our little wintery home taken just this past week..

a little bit of summer..

a friend took this picture of ngaio, finn (our pup) and i this past august.. i think its a sweet picture of us so i thought i'd share..

names..names..names...

i'm having such a hard time deciding on a name for this baby!
i have so many that i like, but they just don't really fit together in any cohesive way.

Both Elwynn (noam sage cornelius tucker) and Ngaio (amelia anne sapphyre) were easy to name.. i guess thats why this time i'm so stuck this time.

here are the names that i love, and that i want in her name...

Beatrix:bringer of happiness...latin/german
Olive: kind one, olive tree, peace..latin
Arubella: kind of made it up..
Zia: light, splendor, grain...Arabic/Latin

i also like the names; orynn, zinnia, sabine, annika, annishka, saskia, hazel, kyri....

*sigh* so many nice names..