a patchwork heart...

"Home" or soon to be!

2009-05-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

This tiny little town on Kootenay Lake (the largest natural lake in BC) is such an unbelievably stunning place. There is so much beauty in so small a place that it is hard to know where to start..but here is a taste of some of the lovely that i have found..

wall art..

2009-05-12T09:49:00.000-07:00

All you need to make these ridiculously cute and simple wall hangings is fabric that you love and wooden embroidery hoops.. i added buttons to mine because, well. i LOVE buttons.

It is such a fun way to display special fabric and a really wonderful way to add something to a space without spending any money (the hoops are thrift shop finds.. and the fabric i already had around the house..)

These circles adorn our eating area in the kitchen.

These ones are in our living-room in a corner above a play area.. The pink one is made of a sweater that i found at the thrift shop. i loved the print but i rarely wear pink..or prints for that matter.. so up on the wall it went! Im making little pants with the sleeves..

Elwynn made this painting on earth day and i plan to reproduce it on a hoop using cloth and embroidery (something i have discovered i enjoy very much!) because it is just so incredibly beautiful, and i want something that will last forever. "i will take care of worms" *sigh*

And button tacks! i saw something like these on ETSY one day and thought..we have tacks and buttons. lets make some! here are the results.. i couldn't find very many different sized or coloured buttons(because i still have yet to sort out my mountains of craft supplies...)
but the little ones had a great time with this craft anyways!

First Harvest!

2009-05-06T16:35:00.000-07:00

The little ones and i picked our first harvest of rhubarb today!

I am ever so happy. It seems like just last week it was only starting to show itself to the world, and now it is overflowing with delicious red stalks.
It grew very quickly with the recent spring rains and warm sunshiney days.

Now the yummy part! what to make with it.
The options are endless.
rhubarb Upside-Down cake....or Stewed rhubarb..
rhubarb Crisp....Sorbet?
Or i could cut it up and freeze it for another day......

A piece of Bright!

2009-04-26T15:59:00.000-07:00

This wee daffodil flower was a lot of fun to make!

Its been a long while since i did much in the way of making beautiful things, unless you count the bread that ive been baking a few times a week. its beautiful in its own right, but not quite as sweet or bright as this.

The stem is a pipe cleaner wrapped with florist tape, then wound with green wool yarn. The rest is wool felt (brown, green and two shades of yellow) and a piece of wool batting for the inside.
SoOoO incredibly Simple! There is a flower girl who goes with the flower...i'm working on her..but i may make a few more flowers first!

The pattern can be found in the book Making Flower Children by Sylvie Adolphie

Spring!

2009-04-21T11:34:00.000-07:00

With bated breath & some tiny bit of uncertainty, because you never can tell what mother nature will do next, i can say that i really truly think that spring has finally decided to grace us with her warm and green presence!

Clearwater is for the most part free of snow (with the exception of a few sunless patches here and there) and slowly but surely growing springier ever day! robins are out in force, green buds are popping up and even some leaves are slowly showing their tiny selves to the world. my rhubarb is budding out all ruby red and sweet! and Ive discovered a huge patch of raspberries which I'm itching to get to. they need to be pruned back and thinned a wee bit...but it looks like we will be drowning in raspberry jam & other yummy things come summer!

Easter came and went in a fury of cut-out-cookies and icing, dyed Easter eggs, chocolate and sunshine.. our Easter tree is still adorning out kitchen window and in leaf too! we chose a piece of red willow tree and sure enough its doing its springtime thing too, just in our kitchen.

Seedy Saturday was amazing..the ski-lodge where it happens every year was full to brimming with friendly, smiling faces.. seeds and plants and good things to eat and smell and touch were all around. it gave me more than a bit of nostalgia, thinking of leaving this town..and i may even be re-thinking it. it is hard to know why my feet get so itchy every spring, but i may try to talk myself out of leaving just now. not only that but it looks like Kaslo is a bumping place and there is nothing available in terms of homes for us there. it wouldn't be so bad staying here, planting a garden..maybe getting our chickens finally! i dint know for sure, but i think for the summer at least i can safely say that we will be staying put. i kind of dread spending another winter here, but on the other hand Kaslo has just as long and cold a winter as here. maybe we just need to find a house with a wood stove!
i bought a bunch of new varieties of tomatoes to try and and some wild Italian arugula! a few new house plants..a wandering Jew & an angel wing begonia. Ive always wanted one!
mm..and some vanilla goats milk soap. divine.
I'm so looking forward to the farmers market starting up again so that i can see all of my favorite folks again. winter gets lonely!

Yesterday we spend a beautiful day visiting a local sheep ranch with Elwynn's school. Aveley ranch has been in Vavenby for 103 years! and you can feel the wisdom and love for the land when you step foot there. I was completely and utterly (hehe!) taken with the place. something about hundreds of tiny lambs does that to a person.

Our day was full-to-brimming with information about sheep and lambs, and how wool is processed.. the kids got to try out hand and drum carders and spinning wheels and what-not. we watched a lamb being born out in one of the fields, right up close! it was a very new experience for some of the children! we had a hayride all around the land, which is vast and stunning..there were scones and tea in this neat old pioneers shack, a museum of sorts all about the history of the land and family and then they all make sweet wooden boats and raced them down a fast flowing little stream. it was such a great time! i think that the favorite of all was the snuggling and feeding of the newborn orphan lambs. i could have stayed there forever!
here are a few photos of our adventure..

Spring Cleaning & Thoughts On Moving..

2009-03-31T12:57:00.000-07:00

Since we have been away from home (visiting family is far off places) i have been thinking a LOT about "home" i love my home. no other place feels just right for us..but what is home?.. its not the place,at least not for me..its what anhd who is in it..that is what makes it cozy and homey and yours. we move a lot and are thinking of moving again..well not thinking. we will move again. how soon and where is still up in the air. right now we are really strongly considering Kalso, BC. Not all that far from where we are now..i thought a few months ago that i was here to stay. that i had found my home sweet home..but a lot has changed, if only in my head, that makes me feel like this is not so. there is a lot to desire in a small town like clearwater, and honestly im getting restless and bored here. but the home part is something i can and will take with us everywhere we go. i visit family & friends and their homes are theirs.. and it makes me long for mine. I guess im not the dusty foot traveller that i once was. its hard being far from home with 3 little ones and all of the things that go with us. and now that my head is in moving mode im thinking of all of the things that need to be done before we pack up and fine a new place to make ours..things to fix, things to sell, things to give away. things to paint and mend and burn. its exciting and gives me butterflies in my stomach thinking about doing it all over again.
and we need to find that place too! im trying to manifest the perfect place..close to town, spacious with wood heat.. clean & bright with a garden for veggies..someday soon we will find our next home..and with all of these words on my mind is this..“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful”

Im on ETSY!

2009-03-04T08:07:00.001-08:00

I finally Opened shop a few weeks ago!
Im not having much luck selling yet, but i'm slowly working on new things to stock the shop with..
It is exciting though, none the less! I feel like even getting up the courage to do it, seeing as i'm mainly single parenting my 3 small children, is an accomplishment. I'm trying to be positive about it all, which isn't always easy.But who ever said the easy way is the best way?

There are so many wonderful sellers on ETSY. If you have not checked it out yet, you should!

Here is the link to my shop. Check it out. Heart me and feel free to buy something!
All proceeds go towards getting our Pup Finn neutered!

ApatchWorkHeart

Love & Revolution,
Fern

happy heart day

2009-02-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

we don't do a huge "valentines day" thing since in not big on corporate holidays..
but i do like days that are special, that we can celebrate our little family and all of the love we have for each other. for me its not about buying stuff, so we do it our way.

to celebrate we had a pancake breakfast which we shared with my momma and her adopted son. i made egg free pancakes (allergies) shaped as hearts.. of course! lots of butter and organic maple syrup. they were too good to be true.

then we had a beautiful walk in the bright winter sunshine down to the river, and i forgot my camera, as always..it was so warm that we shed our jackets and gloves and hats and played on the few feet of beach beside the river that wasn't covered with snow..the little ones had such a nice time skipping rocks and setting ice flows free down the slowly running winter river. it was heaven on earth. truly.

elwynn was being especially lovey with his sister rue that day.

here are a few photos...

new&green

2009-02-04T13:22:00.001-08:00

i am ever so happy!

i have my new & green laptop. its wonderful..better than wonderful even.. i have finally been able to get all of my hundreds of pictures off of my camera..ive spent an hour looking through them and sorting them out. editing (i love the red eye fixer!) so many images! so many memories. *sigh*

here are a few of my latest hand-made creations..

oh..and speaking of new..i am opening up an Etsy shop! i have yet to post anything for sale, but when i do, i will surely blog about it...

Happy Birthday..Happy Birthday..Happy Birthday!

2009-01-25T10:27:00.000-08:00

We have celebrated 3 birthdays in the past few months!Ngaio had her 3rd Birthday in November Elwynn turned 6 in December! and Yesterday, January 24th, was Rue-bee's first birthday!

I remember in vivid detail each birth... each day before and after they were born.
how much i wanted to meet them and the tiniest inklings of fear that something might happen and i may never know them.. i feel very blessed and very thankful that these small people chose me to be their mother and that i have had every day for 6, 3 and 1 year to get to know just who they are.. inside and out. i look forward to growing along side these beautiful beings for ever and a day..

i try to live in awe and remember to see the world through their wide open eyes. if we could all see and experience the world the way children do, it would be a much happier existence for all.

thank you for choosing me! you are my universe.
~mamafern

a moment in time

2009-01-15T11:32:00.000-08:00

i just have a second, but here are a few pictures of rue...her first birthday is nearing!

this involves knitting!

2009-01-08T16:38:00.000-08:00

really..truly!

so today at the library(where i wrote my last rambling post) as i was checking out, i spied..not one, but TWO new knitting books! i have to say that I'm utterly in love with my librarian. she is a bit prickly to begin with. in fact the first year i lived in Clearwater i was sure she outright despised me (well more like my rowdy kids).. but i found the way to her heart.. yes. knitting! it took me a while to notice that all of the best books in the library were fibre related..but lo and behold i have a kindred spirit! she is the head librarian here, and so with her magical book powers she orders a Lot of beautiful knitting/fibre books, and magazines.. including spin off, and interweave and vogue knitting and more..and LIVING CRAFTS! she hadn't heard of it but when i brought the winter issue in to show her she was soOo excited and ordered a library subscription on the spot. *gush* she knits and felts and sells her wares at the local farmers market AND has agreed that we Must start a knitters and weavers guild in Clearwater come spring. so much fun.

okay.. but back to the books.. the first is called "i love to knit socks" let me just start with "holy mother" these socks are sexy and beautiful and nifty and just wow. Ive come to the realization that my weeks of insomnia root from the need to knit socks. for me! yes.. all for meeee. I'm not one to knit myself anything much, so this is a big step. anyways.. if you love tm o knit socks.. or even look at socks you MUST see this book.. it has legwarmers too! second book. "knit to be square" all of the patters are knit in squares.. domino knitting? its a technique Ive never before used, but the patterns in this book are so lovely. i will learn! there is a pattern called "two block hat" that is just absolutely to die for. its pixie to the tree tops and just so sweet! im searching for a picture to add to this post..

winter..winter..winter...

2009-01-08T14:57:00.000-08:00

I'm so sad. my hopes and dreams of posting regularly on my blog have been dashed since my computer crashed and died in December.. i had high hopes that it would be fixable, but no such luck. i did get an old computer given to me, but alas its a heap of crap, and every time i try to a) install flash player b) download pictures from my camera.. it restarts and acts all glitchy. so until i get the guts up to shell out mad cash to buy a new computer.. a laptop I'm thinking.. ill be blogging rarely. i suppose that i could still write, but somehow it feels so much less fun when there aren't pictures to post along with the words, because face it. my words are less than eloquent these days.. but since its been..well nearly two months since my last post i thought i had better say something!

my last post pail-o-snails.. well, i did make one, but i never did make a pail full. one day! i really tried to craft this winter, but having a 9-10-11 month old baby, a 3 year old!! and a 6 year old! makes it fairly difficult..especially since rue-bee is a mama's girl through and through..and pretty clingy these days to boot.

news..
ngaio turned 3 on November 28th.. it snowed that day, the first real snow of the year.. which is amazing because she was born on the first snow of that year ('05) it felt magical and special. after a snail cake with bees wax candles! and a special birthday party where she wore our new felt birthday crown and her snaily outfit i bought her from etsy we bundled up and had an evening of tobogganing in the dark snowyness.

i love that feeling of the first real wintery day when it all feels so wonderful. by now after 4 feet of snow..-36 temps and now rain and slushyness.. well, winter feels like it will never end!

more news..
elwynn turned 6 on December 26th.. the day after Christmas is a hard day for a birthday, but he did amazingly well, all considering. we had a small family party and..honestly its kind of a blur. but he was happy. birthdays are so strange. its a happy time, but also kind of sad for me. i cant believe that i have a 6 year old son! i mean.. really. that's pretty wild. he is so sweet and smart and artistic and independent. he is a person of his own. and a pretty wicked one at that! and my niece haeven had her 6th birthday on December 5th. i didn't get to see her but i was thinking of her lots that day. i remember when she was born. i became an auntie that day!!

rue is going to be 1 in a few weeks. she isn't yet walking, but is close! she says lots of words.. mostly mama, dog, ball, dad, gentle, up, down, hi, bye..im sure there are others.
life is a lot of fun with her in our lives.. much more so than i could have envisioned a year and a bit ago when i found out she was growing in my belly. having 3 kids is very rewarding, challenging for sure, but if anything its renewed my faith in the world and i know that i will have at least a few more some day. crazy? no!

and in other news, timothy got a new job as a baker at our local grocery store. he found out on the first of january. a very good omen! he seems to be enjoying it despite having to be there at 4am.
he is living in a house just a block from us.. im really happy about our family dynamic now. we get on great, have our space and have fun when we are together, which is what we lacked when living together. this year is proving to be a great one already.

happy winter solstice..happy new year..
love, light & wisdom to all.

fern&folk

Pail-Of-Snails!

2008-11-15T07:41:00.000-08:00

Ngaio, my nearly 3 year old daughter, Loves Snails..
it all started when we got her this Pull-Along Plan Toys Snail..
she calls him "snailey guy" that was when she was just 2 but maybe younger... the years blur!

For her birthday, which is coming up on the 28th of November i am making her a snail themed party.. i was sort of kind of thinking of making a snail cake and im going to make a giant snail so the kids can do Pin-the-feelers-on-the-snail.. and i found wonderful snail print fabric on etsy that im going to sew up something with, as well as this beautifully made skirt and pinafore set from 3lilmuses which i splurged on for her.. because its just so lovely, i couldn't resist...but there real reason i'm writing this is because in my search for snailey crafts to do with the kids i found this so wonderful knitting pattern for these wee snails and slugs. im almost finished making my first one and its just sweet and so simple.. i had to share! as soon as i am..ill post a picture. my plan is to knit a whole bucket full and give her a pail of snails...

with love and snails,
fern

halloween

2008-11-02T12:53:00.000-08:00

we had a pretty great halloween this year. there were all sorts of fun events and happenings..here are a few pictures of the kids. elwynn was a knight in shining armor for school, and ngaio was a faerie. rue was a snowflake.. evening costumes..elwynn as a pirate and ngaio little red riding hood (yes, it looks like she was eating chocolate, but no.. hehehe).
not the best photography, my camera battery was dying.. always at the worst time.
elwynn drew this most amazing skull and we carved it out as a jack-o-lantern.. it was very cool. this photo does not do it justice.
also, a picture of our very own black cat..

2008-10-22T14:13:00.000-07:00

the days are certainly getting shorter quickly...night time falls and its black and cold. so far no snow in clearwater yet, but we are having very hard frosts.. it feels a lot like winter. but despite that the days are crisp and beautiful! we are taking lots of walks down the leafy streets, checking out the river and beach in all of its autumny glory. its my most favorite part of the year. i love the smell in the air especially. i love wearing mittens and hats and scarves and cozy sweaters. i like my leg warmers too!

we just got back from a trip to a forming eco-village about 5 hours north of here in and abouts the kakwa provincial park.. its a stunning part of BC.. the fraser river surrounds the property making it almost an island.. we hiked around the whole perimeter, close to 500 acres i think. it was pretty beautiful. wild and foresty. there is a herd?flock?murder? of alpacas and llamas on the land too. they are SO CUTE! im so mad at myself for not taking pictures. i was going to go find the sunday morning before we left, but the rain was falling in big fat drops and my camera isnt a fan of precipitation. a friend did take a bunch of pictures thoiugh, so when he sends them to me ill post some. they are really like faerie tale creatures. so graceful and... fluffy! on our way home we ended up breaking down, our veggie oil system failed us for the first time since february, when installed. timothy got it sorted out, but it was pretty worrisome for a few minutes. being stranded in the cold and rain on the side of an almost dead highway, in the middle of pretty much nowhere. not a great feeling. especially since i had stayed up till 2am talking with some of the most rad folks ive met for a long time. .i felt rather hung over and headachey, and kids stuck in cars..well, im sure most of you know how that is. but we got home.. no moose sightings to speak of (boohoo) rain and fog and snow didn't deter us. it was a trip to remember for sure. this map shows the vision for the eco-village.. so far there are just a few cabins and a farm house, a barn and pastures, a garden (certified organic) but this is what it will one day look like.,.

today was a beautious day.. here are a few pictures of our walk in the leaves.
in the pictures are..ngaio, rue and our sweet friend milo!

not working..will add pictures later..

5th october.

2008-10-05T09:01:00.000-07:00

Autumn has fallen hard and fast here.. the rain has come, the mist and the falling leaves and sweet heavy smell of change in the air. i Love this time of year...the farmers market is overflowing with a rainbow of yummy things.. & the trees!.. i think that i missed out on photographing a lot of it this time around..we go on so many walks, and i forget my camera, and every day things are a bit different, different hues of orange, yellow and brown..less green, more leaves scattered on the grey concrete.

i especially love cooking at this time of year..its that comfort food thing. squash and beets and yams and potatoes, fresh meat & herbs! everything is so fresh and abundant in october! but there is this looming knowledge that soon enough the snow will fall and ill be left wishing for and missing the days of salad greens and kale and corn on the cob..but we make do, and spring is just around the next few corners, right?

on the homefront..my sister, and room mate has been gone for the last few weeks..we have inally adjusted to it and she arrives home tuesday.

ngaio has started her preschool program at the local elementary school. i didn't quite know what to expect but i'm totally blown away. the teacher "amy" is just wonderful. she isn't trained at a Waldorf teacher, but she is.. she is just lovely. the room is full of draped fabrics and there are fabulous wooden toys, and beautiful pictures and plants..nature tables and water tables and wheat berry play stations. i couldn't hope for anything more, honestly..and its free and close to home..5 days a week for 3 hours a day. and rue can also come with us, since its a parent partisipation group. im going to do some felting crafts with the kids which im so looking forward to, but so far, i'm just having fun exploring the new space and people with ngaio. they are making an "im precious" book these days with hand and foot prints and artwork about who they are. its really perfect.. they have outside time everyday around this big old willow tree on the side of the school.. bubbles and stories and jumping and playing...Oh, and the school is starting construction on ajn artificial wetlands project on the grounds..which all of the children will be a part of creating and maintaining. they got a grant from a wetlands conservation group. its just so cool! im thrilled with this town!

rue is crawling & fast these days.she is into everything. its fun to watch her explore the world..but she is a bit under the weather, and so a bit sad these days too.

so, its not as easy as i thought it would be..

2008-09-16T18:56:00.000-07:00

i figured that having the computer at home would make it easier to keep up with everything onliney but its proving harder than i imagined!

our days are full of lots of not much of anything, but it leaves little time for me to sit at the computer and really write anything. i finally downloaded all 786 pictures from my camera today! it was very exciting re-looking at pictures from the last 6 months or so...i can't even believe how much elwynn, ngaio and rue have grown up and changed! ngaio looked like a baby when rue was born..now she is all long and girlish, and not a baby much at all. elwynn has shorter hair and is getting big, finally..some days a few years past i thought he would be 2 feet tall forever.
rue is all movey and eatey these days...its flashing before my eyes. i don't want to blink and have my babies leaving home. ak. its a scary thought..well, i admit some days i wouldn't mind less mess and less noise, but mostly i do enjoy it, and i'm trying to just be in the moment and not miss anything. i recently read a blog of a mom who was in a plane crash with her husband.. they survived, but are in really rough shape. life as she knows it. changed. forever.
it can happen so fast.

i had a moment like that today. ngaio, rue and i were out on a walk and our dog finn ran out into the road and a car came so fast, even though it wasn't going very fast at all and HIT him. i was stunned. he got up and ran to me, but i was so scared. for that split second everything went in fast forward and slow motion at the same time. we were on a quiet country road where all of the dogs and kids run around on the road. ive never seen anything/anyone hit that close to me. it shook me to the core. he just has some damage on one of his legs and paws..he isn't in pain, i gave him rescue remedy right away and took him home to rest..but he could have died! it could have been one of the kids.... it was one of those life changing moments. not a huge thing, but something so small can change us forever.

so its 7 and almost time to do the bedtime thing.. i havn't been sleeping well..there is so much to lie awake and think about. i admit living without timothy is harder than i imagined it to be. mostly its okay but i get moments of panic and loneliness that feel pretty terrifying. its all just a lot to cope with alone. but ium trying and hoping that its just a temporary thing while we both regroup and do some healing and work..

on another note, i have become pretty obsessed with bach flower remedies.. i have about 10 books out from library and on loan from friends and im reading and reading any second i have the chance. its very fascinating..a lot like homeopathy (well it is homeopathy really) which is another passion of mine.. ive ordered the set of 38 remedies and im dreaming of making remedies for everyone i know.. waiting on mail is a hard thing to do!!

well, baby is sad and snotty and nursey, so ill be off,

love and revolution!

fern

pictures..finally!~

2008-09-06T18:15:00.000-07:00

sphats falls, just a few minutes from our home

timothy & the girls

almost crawling!

rue-bee & mama

rue learning to sit..51/2 or 6 months old..

elwynn & ngaio enjoying a lollipop @ the school playground..it was a joyous occasion as they have never been allowed one before.

elwynn, aug.2008@ spahats falls

rue & the umbrella, taken in dunster @ the Robson valley music festival aug 23rd.

rue-bee, 7 months old! sitting in her play corner in our new living room..

re-connected!

2008-09-03T09:51:00.001-07:00

so finally, after more than a year! im back online. we live in a rural part of a smallish town on the north thompson river aka. clearwater.. sadly, our home isn't "in" town so we only have access to dial up..but i've never been happier to have slow internet in my life. anything will do. our days of getting out to the library are so few and far between that keeping up with anything on the web is nearly impossible. actually, we go to the library often, but im usually in search of good bedtime stories and something to occupy me on the off chance i have a minute to read to myself.. not to mention ngaio who has her hands in everything she shouldn't as soon as we pass through the doors. and rue who decides that she is famished whenever we aren't snug at home, namely in the car or at the library. but, no more complaining..as far as summer has gone (really almost gone, we are having hard frosts already..) we had a pretty good one. we moved, yes. stressful..but since then our days have mostly consisted of playing at the river (the raft) and just enjoying the time together. we have enjoyed saturday farmers markets, most especially the strawberry festival. all you can eat local starwberries.. pure and utter bliss! and we (timothy, ngaio, rue & i ) went to an amazing music festival just a few hours from here in the robson valley. it was such a sweet weekend.
a really family friendly, amazing music, wonderful folks good time.
i think i have a bit of a summer hangover today actually. *sigh*

i have much to do here today, school just started for elwynn and there is always piles our house stuff to do. but i wanted to take the opportunity to just say a few words here, just because i missed it so much..

im trying to DL pictures, but its proving difficult with this connection.

till next time,

fern

its a long road..

2008-07-31T14:12:00.000-07:00

wow. time flies... its almost august! stormy rainy summer days. we moved again.. just to the next town over from little fort. its a bit sad but our garden is still being cared for by timothy who for now is staying in little fort. my sister moved here a few months back to be a nurse at the clearwater hospital and she and i looked at the lovely little house and decided that it would be fun to live together again.. . i love our new house . its really close to the most beautiful private river beach..a few minutes down the road is a farm with horses and sheep and the local school is about 2km away (its got a rad playground) ive made a bunch of new friends with kids elwynn and ngaio's age and babies too. i feel like im finally finding community out here in the north thompson valley. i even met a daddy who wants to knit with me (and watch football, but hey! a knitting group. woohoo!) there is lots of fun stuff going on here in clearwater. the farmers market is amazing and there are often community bbq's and music in the park and that kinda stuff.

rue is getting to be a crawler! she is up on hands and knees rocking back and forth. every day is a leg and arm strengthening marathon. it wont be long at all before she is on the move. its a bit sad and pretty exciting...the little person in her is emerging and she is pretty lovely.

elwynn is all about art these days. he spends hours and hours drawing, colouring, sketching..its pretty inspiring. i havnt had a minute for anything creative, but lately rue has been wearing a pixie hat i knit while pregnant..white bamboo yarn..and ive had about 8 requests..so one day when i have tiome to knit again ill be busy.

ngaio is.......2. im worn out on 2. i love her so much but i want to throw her overboard sometimes.. even often. its pretty hard to be pateint when the whining and screetching are blowing my eardrums. most everything is a huge drama these days. im counting the days to 3.. someone please tell me its the magic end to this not so much fun time.

time is up..

love to everyone who may read this.. one day soon ill have internet again. maybe.
pictures some day too!

until next time.

fern

april droughts bring may sprouts..

2008-05-16T14:02:00.000-07:00

We have been busy busy bee's this spring, but i wanted to take a second to put up a few new pictures of my girls. Elwynn is at school today and we are visting grama G.. these were shot just now with grama's camera..

rue-bee is nearly 4 months old now& ngaio is 2 and a half!

hello

2008-05-03T13:25:00.000-07:00

hi to everyone that has written on here! its so nice to know that somewhere out there there are people who think of us sometimes. often i feel like we have dropped off the face of the earth onto another much smaller much more isolated star somewhere in another galaxy. i know we aren't that far away, but the momets that i get online, or on the phone, or out of our tiny town are so few and far between its almost impossible for me to connect with anyone. so im sorry to anyone who is waiting to hear from me.. it may be a while.

we are doing well, the garden is starting to be what i think about day and night. im so in live with all of the little sprouts popping up in our tiny green house. mostly its too cold for anything but rhubarb and bulbs but things are greening up quickly. yesterday it was 24 degrees out after a -5 night. crazy mother nature!

hawkfeather if you are reading this..im so sorry for your troubles. ill email you next chance i get.
love to you and your family and it would be great to have more likeminded folk around here. we are about 1.5 hours north of kamloops. on the north thompson river. not much to rent up here though.. but worth looking i think.

must go..babies..poop. hungry bellies.

love and all that stuff.

fern&folk

spring has sprung!

2008-03-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

officially but not really totally yet where we are. in fact, there was a fresh coat of snow on the ground when i awoke this morning.. funny sincejust yesterday i was outside in a tee-shirt on my knees starting to weed the garden..but the days are getting longer and there are definite signs of spring around. ngaio and i saw a butterfly a few days ago and the cows down the road are all birthing their calves. i got to scratch a brand new calf under the chin one sunny morning last week. it came right up to the fence to meet me and elwynn. it was just beautiful. mama still had the umbilical cord hanging out of her! she hadn't yet passed her placenta. its sad to thing that they are born just to get big and be eaten, yet they are still so tame and trusting of humans.
im looking forward toi having a huge garden this year. timothy has already started a few things in one of our sunny south facing windows, i'm sure it will just be a few weeks and we will have the shelf full of small green sprouts. yay!

may can't come soon enough.. my sister is moving up to the north thompson!! hopefully the clearwater hospital wont close (dr. shortage) because she wants to live in little fort or clearwater to be near us.

elwynn, ngaio and rue-bee are doing well..ngaio just got over a rather nasty sickness but she is very much back to her old self now. its amazing how fast they bounce back at 2!

elwynn is happy to be free of school for spring break. its hard getting up so early for such a small guy, but summer will be here soon enough.

rue is almost 2 months old now. time is flying by sooo fast! she is absolutely the most sweet baby in the world (they all are though!) im just sooooo in love. i can't get enough of her smiles and little "coo's & goo's"

so that's our short update..

no knitting in sight but i did get some beautiful white and pink and red veregated HPY in the mail a while ago from uruguay..im just waiting for some free time to cast on some longies.. one day..right?

home!

2008-02-13T12:09:00.001-08:00

well, i hanv't knit a stitch..but we are home and so happy to be! there is at least 2 feet of beautiful white snow surrounding our little cozy home and town, but it seems like we missed most of winter while we were away. spring is on its way i think..

ngaio just threw herself onto the floor of the library..gtotta go.

Avalanche!

2008-02-08T16:44:00.000-08:00

well, the roads are closed due to mother nature.. avalanches and slides all over the place..both routes home closed! we are about an hour and a half from where we started and are staying with tim's grandparents till they re-open the road..probably..hopefully tomorrow!

on a happy note, we went thrift store shopping today and found lots of rad treasures..some beautiful soft fleece lined jeans for elwynn and a bunch of fancy baby/toddler clothes..so, its not all bad. i hear they are thinking of opening a thrift store in little fort..yay for thrift stores!

i really wish my knitting bag wasn't in my mom's van! she is meeting us up there (little fort) tomorrow because we couldnt fit all of our stuff and kiddos in our van, but now im itching to knit something..rue sleeps lots still and i know i should take advantage of it. i always want to knit when i havn't got my stuff. grRrR.

xoxo fern

finally, home is on the horizon..

2008-02-04T10:41:00.000-08:00

January has come and gone since being here, in the big city, but we are finally heading home!
the next few days will be full of packing up and goodbyes then we are on our way homeward Thursday morning.

i'm feeling a mixture of excitement and anxiety..at the long snowy drive with 3 kids&a dog&cat!
at being home in our own little house, but without any extra hands to hold and help..wondering how timothy will find some work in the deep of winter...but i know that everything will fall into place as it should.

life is so beautiful with a baby in it!

my sweet family!

2008-01-31T09:07:00.001-08:00

this is love..

*sigh*

2008-01-31T08:40:00.001-08:00

it is so nice to finally put to use all of the wee woolens that i lovingly knit... the little pants, of which i knit 3 pairs, fit her perfectly. they go up to her armpits and cuffed, they are the perfect length! i love these little pants. they are butter soft and she wears them most every day.

this little curly purly soaker fits her super well. the other ones that i knit are too big on her yet, especially the leg holes..she has these loOong scrawny little legs. im loving the tight rolled cuff..with a premie prefold under it makes the trimmest little diaper..i love prefolds!

.
she hates diaper changes.

and finally! a name for our baby..

2008-01-29T17:00:00.000-08:00

we have decided to name her.... Rue Bee Olive Suzanna Sabine.. its a weird untraditional name, i know.. i love "ruby" but timothy was not so keen on it. this way we have the name i want but also a plant name and bee..its cute. i love it. its totally her name. i'm so glad we waited and got to know her a few days...

Rue is almost 4 days old now. it feels like she has always been here, in my arms. she is just the most serene baby i have ever met, well, except for bum changes! she has a very loud voice when needed.. that is all i will say about that. we are still adjusting to being a family of 5, but for the most part it feels like our family is finally complete.

some pictures...

2008-01-26T09:21:00.001-08:00

1: suzie schulz, RM and baby..1 day old!
2: Big sister Ngaio & babe.
3: day 2. .so awake!
4: not 1 day old..sleeping in the sunshine
5: mama and babe
6: the grrls
7:

She is here!

2008-01-25T09:08:00.000-08:00

our little girl was born last night after a long but beautiful labour. i started to have contractions around 11:00 the night before but didn't really go into active labour till she was almost born!
after a day of regular contractions my sister and i went for a beautiful forest walk..it seemed like things were actually slowing down, but once we got back home again everything happened fairly quickly. we filled the birth pool and after about 10 contractions that were 1-2 minutes apart i got in. it was heaven! i was in the pool for about 45 minutes i think.. she did all of the work. it was amazing. i felt her little body move down..down..with each surge and finally she was right there! i felt this bulging bag of waters and broke it with my finger and out she came in a few quick pushes. i caught her in my hands and held her for a long time before getting out of the water. she was pink and breathing and just perfect from the moment she was born. *sigh*

my midwife suzie said that in 600+ births it was probably the most peaceful,perfect birth she has witnessed. it made me cry.

she weighed 8lbs 3 oz
born around 6:30pm..( i'm not even sure on the time, but my midwives have it written down)
no height yet because i just didn't want to put her down.

im having a baby!

2008-01-24T05:03:00.001-08:00

and no Castor oil and verbena after all!! ive been having contractions since about 11:00 tonight. its 4:57am and i can't sleep.. they are about 4-5 minutes apart right now.. not terribly painful, but there for sure and lasting about a minute long.

im so happy!

Today or Tomorrow..

2008-01-23T08:08:00.000-08:00

i'm having this baby today or tomorrow. thank the earth for Castor oil and lemon verbena..

another beautiful day

2008-01-21T16:16:00.000-08:00

still pregnant. yep. im going to be pregnant forever..

we took the kiddos and the dog and the remote control spider man monster truck and ngaio's beloved "strawberry shortcake dolls" to the park today to soak up the beautiful January sun...then we decided to walk..and walk..and walk..to the fabulous coffee shop that timothy knows of. turns out that wasn't open. so we walked and walked some more back to the park and our car. we are home now and im very glad. walking that far whilst being even more than very pregnant (plus my only pants will not for the life on me stay up so i have to walk while hiking them up, which doesn't really work when you are
a) pushing a buggy b)holding the dig leash c)carrying a child)

anyways, i can't have the baby now for another few days. everything is on hold. no baby. no way. the carpets in my mothers house (where we are birthing) are all being replaced tomorrow. talk about a nightmare. so i'm going to be pregnant for at least until that is done and over with. there is NO way im having a baby while a crew of carpet installers are on the job. wouldn't that be just soooo my luck?

i love being pregnant.

longies..but not.

2008-01-19T13:06:00.000-08:00

i cast on these cute tiny longies but realised soon after starting on the earthy colorway that there wasn't a hope that i would have enough yarn for longies .. so i improvised and made a boy short kind of soaker thing.. im not 100% sure that its going to work, but we shall see soon enough!

Today was a better day..

2008-01-18T21:39:00.001-08:00

infact, after i posted that short and sad update yesterday i decided to cast on a pair of small longies and knitting did make me feel better.. it was just the current project that wasn't working for me.
im on leg one now and happy, but rubing out of yarn, so i think they will be summer shorts, not longies.. im a bit sad, but i kind of knew there wouldn't be enough of it..

i saw my wonderful midwife suzie today and though im not in labor yet, im much closer than on monday. im sitting at 4cm having lots of painless contractions but they are obviously doing something since i was 1/2cm on friday... its giving me hope that my body does in fact know what its doing and that once i do go into labour it will be quick and i will be holding my healthy baby very soon after! the thought brings tears to my eyes and makes my heart flutter.

im feeling pretty worn out. we took the kiddos to a community hall playgroup this morning which we walked to and the local forest ecology center later i nthe afternoon. i got to see my friend sheila and her beautiful new baby boy cassius again, which made me feel so happy! just holding a new baby is so lovely, even if its not my own! and her older daughter cora and ngaio just love each other and it was really nice to see them together being so 2 and cute.

its late and i need sleep.. maybe tomorrow will be our day!

im going to be pregnant forever and a day..

2008-01-17T15:04:00.000-08:00

even knitting isn't helping today... *sigh*

no baby!

2008-01-16T08:44:00.000-08:00

i'm sorry! false alarm....i did have lots of contractions last night and i couldn't sleep but baby is still womb side...

but, i did finish the 2nd kimono sweater last night and with about 14 inches of yarn to spare! i was sure that i would run out and have one sleeve with just a few rows left and no yarn but it worked out perfectly. i think im going to use buttons instead of ties for the closures, just to change things up a bit... i washed it last night in the washer on gentle because some great MDC mamas said it really helps peace fleece soften up and "bloom" and it really feels lush now...i didnt really love peace fleece when it came in the mail, but im really starting to see the beautiy in it!
im going to knit a matching peace fleece soaker today in pink and turquise stripes i think.. and here is a picture of the whole "new baby" outfit that i've made..

if this baby doesn't come soon its going to drown in my basket of hand knits.

2008-01-15T17:01:00.001-08:00

i'm not totally certain, but i think this baby may be born sometime in the next day or so.. i'm feeling some really big changes in my body and i'm feeling very sensitive to sounds and goings ons around me.. not something i usually feel.

we spent a beautiful day on the beach collecting shells and treasure to put on the birth altar. it was sunny and crisp. being at the ocean felt so good! living up where we are is lovely, but once in a while the Pisces in my craves the ocean...

so if i don't post here for a while, it probably means baby has come!

baby name revisited..40 weeks +3 days!

2008-01-13T12:06:00.001-08:00

yes, again! until this baby is born i'm going to quietly agonize over names..

The other night my sister and timothy and a few other random people were again talking about baby names for my baby (believe it or not i don't bring it up!).. then the name Matilda popped up and i instantly loved it. i'm still pretty set on Olive, so i Thought Matilda Olive Suzanna (my sister's middle name and my midwife's name...) Sabine sounded very nice..
it spells "Moss" i love it. timothy.... isn't so sure..

Matilda is an old German name meaning "mighty in battle" and in some translations "mighty battle maiden" very heavy metal, huh.. but i figure, in life you have to be mighty in battle, at least some of the time. It is a good name. i'm usually more inclined towards the serene and beautiful, but somehow i feel like this name fits. Olive is symbolic of peace so it balances out the battle part and Suzanna means Lily..i love plant names!

pictures finally..

2008-01-11T17:09:00.001-08:00

here is the sweet baby cap. i so wish i had a head to try it on!!

and the kimono..still working on the last tie, but its pretty close to being wearable.

Its my due date!

2008-01-11T14:17:00.000-08:00

It's been a beautiful sunny day here which is a big change from the almost torrential rains of the last few weeks.. last night it rained so hard that all i could hear was the constant patter of huge drops on the roof.. i love rain when i'm inside and cozy snuggled up with a nice cup of tea and a book, or a knitting project!

we just got home from a nice walk in the forest with all 3 dogs (our pup finn, my moms dog willow and my sister's dog katie) & the kids..they always have such a nice time in the woods collecting sticks and ferns and rocks...jumping in mud puddles and climbing up and down tree stumps. at the end of the path sitting on a log in the creek was a huge old Blue Heron. he was just beautiful and so serene and still. ngaio was screetching and he didn't move a muscle. i wish so much that i had my camera. it was such a stunning sight.

Ive been working on a hat the last 2 days that is a bit unusual for me.. its knit with super fine yarn and small needles (baby weight bamboo/wool and 2.5mm &3mm needles) im almost done now...the pattern is here. My knitter friend anna just knit the same hat and said that it turned out tiny, but mine seems huge.. its most likely NOT going to fit a newborn baby. i wonder why they turned out so differently....she must have used lace weight yarn or something!

The kimono is done but for one tie..i'm not a huge fan of doing i-cord, so i took a break. it looks like it wont fit till babe is 6 months old or so anyways, so no rush.. i tried it on our 1 year old foster babe who is pretty tiny and it is kind of short on him but its Very sweet.

happy due date to me!

pizza party!

2008-01-09T18:53:00.000-08:00

my sister and ngaio made pizza tonight for supper... it has goat cheese, olives, pumpkin seeda & gouda with home made sauce and pumpkin dough. very gourmet!

and this is the half eaten pumpkin and spice bundt cake they made.. YUM!

a sweater that took forever.

2008-01-08T22:44:00.000-08:00

i can't actually believe that this is off the needles.. it was such a nightmare to knit.. not because it was hard, but because i ran out of the yarn then couldn't get more.. so it sat..and sat..and sat.. for months..maybe even a year. then i was digging around in my knitting bag (one of many) and found it and said "i have to finish this" so i knit up the rest in another random colourway of the same parentage and dyed it black..then i knit the ribbing with the same HPY but in this beautiful olive green. it turned out really well. except that it was supposed to be for ngaio and it barely fits elwynn.. but oh well.. i hate doing guage swatches, so i have to suck it up..

here it is.. and my sweet elwynn as the model!

For the Love of Yarn!

2008-01-07T19:19:00.000-08:00

i'm working on this super cute kimono pattern from "for the love of yarn"
(picture from website, not my work!)

knitting it in this beautiful soft dark olivey green yarn from "hand painted yarn" its going to be so sweet when its complete...

sadly ive got baby brain drain and i did the edging all wrong and even though it looks okay i'm too much of a perfectionist to let it be..so ...ill probably frog most of it before doing it again properly...at least its keeping my mind off the fact that im now over 39 weeks, we have been here since the 19th of december and still im pregnant. i can't believe that i was worried about the baby coming early...i felt so rushed to get here..like any moment baby was goin gto just fall out.. now im not so sure. one thing i am sure of is that this wee one wont be 10lbs 5oz like her huge sister. im still measuring 37 weeks at 39, totally normal for this stage, but i was something like 42 at 40 weeks and so on.. she was 16 days "late" if a baby can ever be truly late.

despite being so impatient, i still haven't washed out the pool. it is blown up though...
i have mostly everything else that i need except some unbleached Indian prefolds that i plan to buy from a local mama "new and green" here in north vancouver.

i got a package of sweet organic baby things from a"Happy Green Bee" co-op today , so that was fun. it was a splurge and i'm a bit sad since their infant stuff is huge and probably wont fit for 6 months.. but oh well.. im sure the time will fly.

still not sure on names.
everyone in my family has a different idea and see's no problem in telling me how i should name the baby...of course im going to name her whatever i want (well..timothy has some say) but its hard being bombarded day after day with "so what ARE you going to name the baby anyways?"
like, maybe i need to meet her first! sheesh...

ok..going to watch some movie my sister downloaded..

happy knitting!

Thrift Strore Finds!

2008-01-05T12:36:00.000-08:00

i love thrift store shopping.. i'm kind of out of practice since in our teeny tiny town, there isn't so much as a free box... but we do go to the big city of kamloops once in a while and i try to get some "retail therapy" time for myself...

yesterday i got to go have some fun in vancouver and this is what i found...

a too cute sage velour Newborn dress (it has matching undies too)
a teeny tiny "natural charm" sleeper and house coat (which i saw at a baby boutique for like 45$) and the cutest "GAP" velour jumper suit with a hood.. im not really one for name brands, or at least i wouldnt ever buy them new..but its fun to find nice baby things for so little!

curly purly soaker..

2008-01-05T11:01:00.000-08:00

Here is a curly purly soaker in Newborn size...

not very exciting, but its something, right? at least i'm slowly feeling knitty again!

knit much..?

2008-01-04T20:18:00.000-08:00

i haven't knit much these past few weeks.. i went to a knit with some mdc mommas who get together in the city and actually worked on a sweater that has been on the needles for over a year. its shameful! usually once i start something i can't stop! right now i have a newborn soaker, a sweater and a panta OTN..*sigh* i need some knitting juju.. i really should finish these things while baby is on the inside.

henna..

2008-01-03T21:17:00.001-08:00

i decided that before i left little fort to have our new babe, i wanted to do something nice for myself..so, i spent 2 hours in the bathroom with a bag on my head.. the outcome, quite lovely! there is nothing like bright red hair to make a pregnant mama feel hot!
my recipe.. body art quality henna, lemon juice, time for the mixture to sit (over night at least)
then i put it on generously, cover with a bag (you look so sexy at this point!) and blow dry for about 2 hours.. rinse out well and ta-da!

birth art..

2008-01-03T16:18:00.001-08:00

i just stuck this in here because i thought it was beautiful, but i should have said where it came from. i was searching for "birth affirmations" and decided to look up images and there it was.
it is from the birthrites website... i would love a copy of this for my wall!

Something magical this way comes!

2008-01-03T15:35:00.000-08:00

now that my tooth ordeal is Finally Over! i can focus on baby! i got the tooth pulled this morning and it went pretty much as well as it could go...i have a bit of healing to do, but it won't take long.
lots of Arnica and rest is pretty much all i need now...

I'm Still thinking about names but more and more the name Zea is in my head... i have always had a thing about plant names.. i'm Fern, my partner Timothy is named after timothy grass (his farmer grandfather's best crop that year!) Ngaio is a native new zealand Tree/Shrub and Elwynn's 3rd name is Sage..

Zea means sweet corn (Zea Mays) it's a beautiful and sacred plant..and a sweet name i think...

i kind of even like Mays as a second name but i'm thinking of changing it to it Maize or Maezie..
Sabine is the other name i love!

now baby, you can come anytime! i'm ready...and excited!

round 2..

2008-01-01T10:45:00.000-08:00

i had to go back for more IV antibiotics yesterday morning.. then i went to the dentist who tortured me for an hour and charged me $100.00 for the pain.. she didn't take out the tooth and now i have to go to the hospital and get dental surgery on thursday..im not in any pain now though, so its okay i guess. im just worn out from it all and ready fo it to be over and to be holding my new baby! that will make the whole past few weeks of hell better! im due in 11 days..so any day now.

my visit to the ER! 38 weeks pregnant..

2007-12-31T09:21:00.000-08:00

last night around 8:30 the pain in my mouth/head got so bad that i had a major meltdown & panic attack and couldn't stop sobbing or even catch my breath. i called my midwife and she said "go to the medical clinic!" but none were open so i went to the ER.. hospitals are the LAST place in the world i will go.. i don't ever choose it, so this was pretty major for me... i wanted to go.
my dp took me while my mom put my 2 little ones to sleep (thank goddess for mothers!) as soon as the admitting nurse talked to me i burst into tears and she sat me down and took my BP which amazingly was lower than its been for my midwife since 25 weeks and she said "good!" (i have borderline high BP generally) my pulse was racing though..anyways..i calmed down and told her that i was 38 weeks pregnant and exhausted from no sleep for 5 nights and not being able to eat really anything and being in so much unbearable pain despite 3 full days on oral antibiotics and extra strength tylenol..then i waited, then they gave me a bracelet and took me down the hall to another waiting room full of puking and injured people. all i could do was sit with my eyes closed and rock in pain. finally a dr. came and took me to a bed and asked me what was going on and again i burst into tears (im such a dork) he looked my my mouth said "we can give you IV antibiotics and tylenol 3's or morphine pills but you have to see a dentist tomorrow!" so i went back and waited for the dr. and got the iv put in and got a huge dose of penicillin and some nasty green pills that im pretty sure were morphine because with about 15 minutes i was chatting and laughing with some guy with a shattered foot. it took a while for the iv drip to finish and the dr came back with some other pain meds for the night (t-3s..?!) and a prescription for tylenol 3's to fill today. all of this was done in a super uncomfy chair in a corner of their middle-of-a-reno ER ..after all of that my tummy was growling and i was totally thinking about eating KFC and ribs that i saw made on a cooking show earlier in the day while trying to distract myself (2 things i have never ever in my life eaten) and we were just hoping our car wasn't towed from the 15 minute parking lot that it had been in for the last 3 hours (it was 11:30 by the time we left the hospital) we finally got home and my stomach was in major pain from so much medication and no food, so i ate whole milk yogurt and a bagel with cream cheese and a glass of milk and it slowly went away..then i tried to sleep (im soOoOo tired) and to no avail. i was up all night again. not in pain.. i just could. not.sleep. i feel like a zombie..i read most of a trashy mystery novel staring china bales, ametuer detective and herb & tea shop owner and at about 3 am made some toast with nutritional yeast to drive away the gnawing hunger in my belly again.great night, huh?!
im not in any major pain and i have to go back again today for another dose of iv antibiotics (i had to keep the line in with this funky gauze handwarmer) so im just catching up here then going back to the hospital. i have a dentist appt. at 3 and then hopefully ill be on the road to normalcy again!!

oh and to top it off the hot water tank broke yesterday, so if i go into labour in the next few days..no water birth for us

*thank you baby for staying in and being so good and keeping me from jumping off a bridge in pain. i love you and can't wait to meet you!*

a little bit of home..

2007-12-24T08:47:00.000-08:00

we are finally in the city to stay(at least for a few weeks) after months of being back and forth for midwife appointments..it's Christmas eve day and crisp and sunny and no snow to speak of, except up the montains that surround vancouver. i'm feeling a bit homesick for our snowy winter land and our cozy wood-warmed house.
i know that coming here to have the baby was the right choice, but there is nowhere like "home"
so here is a neat picture of our pretty little town, though not blanketed in winter (picture not taken by me..) to remind me that in a few weeks we will be back, and with our newest little one!!

and here are some pictures of our little wintery home taken just this past week..

a little bit of summer..

2007-12-19T16:37:00.000-08:00

a friend took this picture of ngaio, finn (our pup) and i this past august.. i think its a sweet picture of us so i thought i'd share..

names..names..names...

2007-12-02T16:15:00.000-08:00

i'm having such a hard time deciding on a name for this baby!
i have so many that i like, but they just don't really fit together in any cohesive way.

Both Elwynn (noam sage cornelius tucker) and Ngaio (amelia anne sapphyre) were easy to name.. i guess thats why this time i'm so stuck this time.

here are the names that i love, and that i want in her name...

Beatrix:bringer of happiness...latin/german
Olive: kind one, olive tree, peace..latin
Arubella: kind of made it up..
Zia: light, splendor, grain...Arabic/Latin

i also like the names; orynn, zinnia, sabine, annika, annishka, saskia, hazel, kyri....

*sigh* so many nice names..

a wrinkle in time..

2007-11-30T15:23:00.000-08:00

i can't believe that my last post was almost 6 months ago.. we moved in the early summer to a small town of about 200 people. we are surrounded by rolling hills (or small mountains..) and the swift flowing north thompson river. we live on the cross roads of two highways, one heading up to the caribou and the other heading towards jasper and alberta..

we have a smallish house on a big piece of green. there are cows and horses just a stones throw away...but we are sorely lacking in internet access, except for the library and grama's house 30 minutes away, hence my lack of blogging.

summer was green and hot and full of swimming in the rivers and lakes..we spent a lot of sunny saturdays going to the farmers market in clearwater, just down the highway a ways, to buy fresh veggies and other fun goodies and we adopted a tiny puppy, whom we named finnegan.

Autumn came quickly and seemed to leave just as fast, but the colours of the trees and the autumn smells were lovely. Elwynn began school in september. he takes the school bus and loves it! Halloween was a clear cool night. there was a huge bonfire at the community hall and fireworks and goodies galore. elwynn was a cowboy and ngaio a very grumpy ladybug.

Now winter is here and we are awaiting the arrival of our newest family member. im 34 weeks along now. late december or early january will bring her earthside, and we are all very excited to finally meet her.

i've been knitting almost non stop since autumn blew in, so here are a few things to show for it!

its been a long long time

2007-06-12T20:03:00.001-07:00

ngaio and the first radish of the season.. the bunnies enjoyed the greens!
and our wee garden with much life a bloom. there are carrots, beets, spinnach, beans, radishes, chives, lettuce and tomatoes growing..and thats only a teeny part of the garden. sadly we are moving saturday and leaving it all behind, but it will be enjoyed by my sister & family, so i'm happy that it will be loved and nibbled!

veggies of another kind.
i knit these for a craft swap. it was fun making corn and broccoli for the first time. i think that they turned out really well and i know the momma and kids love them!

missy ngaio being silly, as usual.

and last but not least elwynn aka batman!

2007-05-18T18:33:00.001-07:00

hand painted yarn..peace fleece ..leg warmers and my hand dyed iceland

2007-05-18T18:26:00.002-07:00

my prrdy red henna and ngaio at faeries&fools

2007-05-13T19:53:00.000-07:00

here is my new hair colour.. i used persian red rainbow henna with ground cloves and paprika..
i love it! i wish that my hair was like this naturally! kinda a weird picture, sorry.. self portraits are hard. i want to get a picture in the sunshine because it just glows. its rad.

yesterday was faeries&fools and i totally forgot that i had my camera with be but for a few pictures of ngaio (so sad because there were some amazing costumes)..so here she is being a cute faerie baby

2007-05-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

yesterday the local waldorf school held their annual mayfaire. we watched all of the flower laiden children dance and sing. it was a beautiful crisp day and everyone full of smiles.
elwynn and i watched a beautiful puppet show about a boy and his magical horse while ngaio and timothy played in the school grounds and then we spent the rest of the day in the city with my sister having a picnic and playing at the park.
a perfect spring day!

pictures of spring

2007-04-16T17:27:00.000-07:00

strawberry shortcake picky pants

2007-04-16T17:13:00.000-07:00

my very first sock!

2007-04-16T17:03:00.000-07:00

im very pleassed with how this turned out. shocked at how easy socks are to knit and mad at myself that i havn't been knitting them all along!
they are from this pattern http://magknits.com/Aug06/patterns/Specialsocks.htm
but like usual, im too much of an anarchist to follow the pattern completely so i just used it for the dimensions and foot shaping..
i love long socks that work with rubber boots, so that is what i made.
im nearly done the second one and i have already picked out the yarn for my next pair.
they fit elwynn ( THE MODEL) and on ngaio they are a bit large, but im sure by next winter they will be perfect.
im addicted to socks now!

tattoo update!

2007-04-16T16:52:00.000-07:00

i went in for another 5 hour session with matta yesterday.. she touched up and added colour to the first piece and outlined the next. there is still a lot to do, but its coming along!
i can't take a picture of the new part though because its a very weird angle, so i'll have to get timothy to take a few when he gets home. i really wanted to show what it would look like when its all done, so here is an idea. i love it. the colour just really brings it alive.

a day on antannies farm!

2007-04-09T21:46:00.000-07:00

Felt Balls & Beautiful babes..

2007-04-09T21:41:00.000-07:00

needle felting is fun and nutritious!

2007-03-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

Wool longies from the spring craft swap..

2007-03-13T12:18:00.001-07:00

yeah, i got lazy.. i bid on a pair of hand knit longies in soysilk & wool for the spring craft swap and won..the momma made them exactly how i wanted and i'm so pleased with them. they are HUGE (my fault.. i was generous with the measurements) but they will fit her for ever, or at least till she is 5. they are absolutely beautifully made and i have to admit, its so nice to admire someone elses work once in a while..thank you again bella babe!
and please excuse my sad model.. it was past naptime..
im still working on my things to send. im so bad...

Magic ball of yarn!

2007-03-13T12:08:00.000-07:00

this was the fabulous magic ball of yarn that i recieved in the last swap. it was so much fun to unwrap and i love the wool so much! the outside is crystal palace yarn in the "fern" colourway and the other yarn is Noro. it is so beautiful! i cant wait to make a little felted bag or something.
all of the goodies were a wonderful treat. and of course, ngaio got into it all right away!

a work in progress

2007-03-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

this is 5 ours of tattooing and its not finnished yet. there is still another whole fern frond and some fiddleheads that need to be added, as well as a bunch more colour and shading... after 5 hours under the needle it started to get to be a bit much..so we will continue on after this is healed up and maybe add the second part next weekend. this picture looks pretty mucky, but i will get some better pictures up soon.
it was a pretty intense and emotional experience having this done.
i absolutely love it and im so happy matta was the one doing it. she rocks!
i'll elaborate at a later date, right now my baby needs me..

Tattoo rough drafts..

2007-03-10T09:08:00.000-08:00

rough draft take 2

my friend matta who is doing my tattoo e-mailed me this sketch last night.
its a rough draft but i love it already!

2007-03-05T15:43:00.000-08:00

tada!

2007-02-28T12:10:00.000-08:00

its done.. at long last!! i noticed that one tie is a bit off though while taking this picture, so i need to fix that before i mail it.
im so picky about every detail.
i really hope that it is well loved!

this hat was a super quick knit and its really lovely! im sending it away with the sweater, but i think that i will knit myself one in some olive green HPY.
because, yes.. it snowed, again. tomorow will be march 1st, my 26th birthday! and its snowing.
next year im going to mexico! i want fresh limes and avacados and hot sandy beaches.

2007-02-24T16:10:00.000-08:00

The koru is the maori name given to the newborn, unfurling fern frond and symbolises new life, growth, strength and peace. It is an integral symbol in Māori carving and tattoos.

yep..im still knitting....but im currently on the quest for the perfect tattoo..
ok,well not perfect tattoo because its going to be custom done by the amazing woman at electroladylux
http://www.electroladylux.com/

but i am searching for the art/pictures of ferns to take to them. my appointment is on march 8th, which is i know a while away, but im so excited!!

basically my tattoo is going to be of a fern and koru (fiddleheads or whatever you want to call them) spirals and dots..and maybe a dragonfly...its going to be on my chest, symmetrical along or just below my collarbones.
my partner timothy is giving it to me as a birthday gift as im going to be 26 in a few shorts day..

this will be my first tattoo and i feel like it is such a perfect time for me to get it. i want it to represent everything that i am.. all of my strength and love and passion as a mom and as a being on this earth. which is why its such a big deal to me to have it be just right..i have waited so long for this..

so if anyone has any fern pictures or art to share, please do!

2007-02-17T18:13:00.000-08:00

Here is the sweater that i have been working on. it is nearly complete!
i still have the bottom edging to do as well as the front edging and the ties...but it shouldn't take long now.

This is the most beautiful hand dyed yarn! i recieved it in the january magic ball of yarn swap.
they are the exact colours that i had hoped for.
im not sure what to make with it though!
*sigh*

and my two bunnies! im so in love!

2007-02-17T09:19:00.000-08:00

this is a reminder to myself...
im having a bit of knitters block these days. its okay except that i have 2 projects on the go that someone is patiently waiting for and im racked with guily about it.. the sweater that i showed earlier is one of te projects and the other is a hat from knitty.com in this beautiful HPY yarn.

so today i will knit. it's saturday.. timothy has gone off to do car stuff , ngaio is sleeping in and elwynn is playing with melody... he was so sweet this morning.. as he went upstairs he said "i love you mum"

the sun isn't really shining this chilly morning but the day is beautiful none the less..
a perfect day to drink organic green tea and knit in front of the fire!

2007-02-15T16:20:00.000-08:00

Happy Love Day!

ah..valentines day. a hallmark holiday meant to rake in the cash..? or a day to really show your true love for someone?

im not really sure...

i love a lot of people and hope that i show it everyday..its not always easy for me.
like i told timothy a few days ago "just because i don't like you right now doesn't mean that i dont love you. i do love you. a lot"
emotions and love are so intertwined. love is complex and i dont think i understand it at all. the feelings i have when i see my children smile and laugh are totally unexplainable.. i guess that is love at its deepest. why even try to explain it?

bunny love!

2007-02-08T15:20:00.000-08:00

we have a new family member!
after a fun trip to the sunshine coast to see our dear friends hawkfeather and lorne and their sweet kids, we decided to adopt one of the bunnies that was temporarily living on their farm.
he is a brown and black lop named "rabbit" but we are calling him "bunny my hunny" for long..or short..
he is the most sweet tempered cuddly creature that i have ever met and im madly in love already.

*sigh* this is why they call it bunny love!

my spinning wheel!

2007-01-27T20:35:00.000-08:00

the foot pedal is a bit chewed..the story is that small playful puppy got his teeth into it. it doesn't look great, but it works just fine. i think im going to make a felted pad for it just for fun..
sadly ive only spun 3 times on it..nothing worthy of showing since it wasn't very clean roving but i should be getting some nicer stuff soon..

banjo baby

2007-01-26T13:51:00.000-08:00

wool felt & little folk...

2007-01-26T13:44:00.000-08:00

little felt babies!

ngaio in the garden..

elwynn and i have been having a lot of fun making simple little felt folk.. i havn't had the time to sit down and really play with making them as i would like to, but all in good time! for now these are perfect..

card of the day..

2007-01-26T13:19:00.000-08:00

Osho Zen Tarot
18. Past Lives

The child can become conscious only if in his past life he has meditated enough, has created enough meditative energy to fight with the darkness that death brings. One simply is lost in an oblivion and then suddenly finds a new womb and forgets completely about the old body. There is a discontinuity. This darkness, this unconsciousness creates the discontinuity.

The East has been working hard to penetrate these barriers. And ten thousand years' work has not been in vain. Everybody can penetrate to the past life, or many past lives. But for that you have to go deeper into your meditation, for two reasons: unless you go deeper, you cannot find the door to another life; secondly, you have to be deeper in meditation because if you find the door of another life, a flood of events will come into the mind. It is hard enough even to carry one life....

Osho Hyakujo: The Everest of Zen Chapter 7

Commentary:

The hands of existence form the shape of the female genitals, the opening of the cosmic mother. Revealed within are many images, faces from other times.

While it might be entertaining to fantasize about famous past lives, it is just a distraction. The real point is to see and understand the karmic patterns of our lives, and their roots in an endless repetitive cycle that traps us in unconscious behavior.

The two rainbow lizards on either side represent knowing and not-knowing. They are the guardians of the unconscious, making sure that we are prepared for a vision that might otherwise be shattering.

A glimpse into the eternity of our existence is a gift, and understanding the function of karma in our lives is not something that can be grasped at will. This is a wake-up call; the events in your life are trying to show you a pattern as ancient as the journey of your own soul.

2007-01-26T13:12:00.000-08:00

"Take the hand of your child and invite her to go out and sit with you on the grass. The two of you may want to contemplate the green grass, the little flowers that grow among the grasses, and the sky. Breathing and smiling together-that is peace education. If we know how to appreciate these beautiful things, we will not have to search for anything else. Peace is available in every moment, in every breath, in every step." Thich Nhat Hanh\

powerful images...

2007-01-21T20:45:00.000-08:00

in a search for meaning on the interweb i found these images that really spoke to me and thought i would share..im not sure of the artists, but thank you, whoever you are..

cardigan

2007-01-17T18:37:00.000-08:00

im making this cardigan for a little grrl in trade for some shoes, boots and a shirt for ngaio.. its working out really well! it is knit with hand painted yarn from uruguay in the miranda colourway.. it will be a full length sweater eventually!

2007-01-13T19:19:00.001-08:00

bean sprout thoughts..

2007-01-13T15:53:00.000-08:00

everything is frozen...

on days like today it seems like it will never be warm again.
it makes me wish i could see just one wee sprout popping up through the crusty soil, pushing its little self up towards the sunshine with thoughtless abandon..

we take so much for granted. the weeds that grow through the cracks in the sidewalk and flowers that bloom on side streets have no hesitation and give everything just to be, only to be stepped on and poisoned but still they grow waiting patiently for the day when humans tread lightly..

if only everything in life were so simple and primal.

at last! our new van...

2007-01-10T14:18:00.000-08:00

new to us anyways..
its a 91' mitsubishi delica super exceed. 4x4 diesel and soon to be veggie oil powered.
it has the crystal light roof and icebox/warming box..
it is totally over the top cool..
mexico here we come!

a big thank you to oma & opa who helped fund this and to dominik who said
"money isn't everything" and accepted our much lowered offer..

organic cotton..

2007-01-07T13:56:00.000-08:00

im going to start summer knitting early with an apron top for ngaio with this beautiful lusciously soft organic cotton..

more silk..

2007-01-07T13:51:00.000-08:00

these are dyed with an array of different things. kool-aid, liquid food colouring and solid food colouring...

a pirates life

2007-01-07T13:49:00.000-08:00

my aunt annie made these little pirates for elwynn's christmas and birthday gift. they are fabulous!

a loss for the activist community and Food Not Bombs..

2007-01-07T10:34:00.000-08:00

Filmmaker's slaying shocks Halifax community

Last Updated: Friday, January 5, 2007 | 4:08 PM ET

CBC News

Members of the filmmaking community in Halifax are mourning Helen Hill, an animator and social activist who was shot to death in New Orleans on Thursday.

Hill, 36, was killed and her husband, Dr. Paul Gailiunas, was injured in the attack in their Louisiana home early Thursday morning. It was the city's sixth fatal shooting in 24 hours.

Police said officers found Gailiunas, 35, kneeling at the front door clutching the couple's two-year-old son in his arms. The boy wasn't hurt.

Walter Forsyth, executive director of the Atlantic Filmmakers Co-operative, said his friend Hill will be remembered for much more than the work she produced.

"She's really giving," he said. "She came here to make films and ended up starting Food Not Bombs and just helping people out on the street."

Halifax Food Not Bombs is a non-profit, volunteer run organization dedicated to providing free vegetarian meals to the local community.

Hill, from South Carolina, moved to Halifax in 1995 and made a name for herself through her animation work, as well as for her social activism.

Gailiunas won a humanitarian award from Dalhousie University when he graduated from medical school and helped set up the first charity foot clinic in Halifax.

Hill and Gailiunas left Halifax five years ago to live in New Orleans, the city where they first met.

New Orleans police don't have any suspects, nor any possible motives for the shootings.

But one neighbour said it was just like Hill and Gailiunas to open their door to someone in the wee hours thinking the person on the other side needed help.

moments in time...

2007-01-05T14:47:00.000-08:00

elwynn at the last submissionhold show

at the sunhaven waldorf school summer fair..

ngaio's first cookie

just a few weeks old

i havn't been doing much knitting these days.. i have been organising and tidying and remembering what my kids were like a week ago..a month ago.. a year ago..
so here are some photos from those moments in time.

dancing alone to songs from the past..

2007-01-04T23:24:00.000-08:00

most days i love being a momma.
today has been a struggle.

maybe it is just the final exhaustion of the winter holidays coming to a close..the house guests that just went home and sickness that we have all been fighting for weeks.. but whatever the reason i feel like just being alone.

i dont feel like having a teething baby attached to my breast.i dont feel like changing diapers..cleaning up puddles on the floor or washing sticky hands.. i don't feel like listening to whining about which jammies to wear to bed.

my patience is thin and my body is tired. i know that somewhere inisde of me i have a reserve of energy but i need a quiet place to find it.

tonight i'll have to make do with the grey's anatomy sound track that timothy made me (and which i absolutely love) and my blog. a hot shower and clean sheets would be nice..maybe tomorow.

soup and the herbs that make it souper..

2007-01-03T22:10:00.000-08:00

oregano..

cumin..

coriander..

my sister kyla's black bean soup recipe is my new favorite.. i love everything about it.
it is simple to make, delicious and hearty.

i made it a few weeks ago and timothy and i ate the whole pot of it in a day or two..
usually if i make a lot of something we eat it grudgingly after the first day and sometimes a bit ends up in the compost but it didn't seem like there was enough of this soup and we ate it to the very last drop.

i made it again last night adding zuchini and broccoli and carrots as well as the usual potato, onion, garlic (sauteed together) a can or two ofdiced tomatoes, 2 cans of black beans, a green bell pepper, fresh squeezed lemon juice, oregano, dry mustard powder, cumin and veggie bullion to taste. it takes very little time to thicken up into a wonderful aromatic dish.

timothy said he could smell it all the way up the street!

served with a spoonful of organic sour cream and a dash of hot sauce and a sprinkling of fresh coriander on the top for green and it is the perfect soup.

we have house guests with us for a few days and so we had it for the evening meal yesterday then today we had friends in and out all day visiting so the pot was on the table with corn chips and everyone enjoyed it.

i love cooking! especially when it is so well recieved.
if only i had thought of taking a photo.. it looks lovely as well.

sunchildren..

2007-01-02T10:34:00.000-08:00

elwynn and i made these little folk using cotton chinelles, wool felt and wooden beads ( i didnt have small enough ones, so they look sort of funny)
they are very easy and lovely to make.
i created a simple pattern using a similar one that i bought a few years ago from the waldorf fair. elwynn practiced sewing by adding the stars to the blue one, which was a christmas gift for his great aunt annie!

the choice has been made..

2007-01-01T11:32:00.000-08:00

we decided that for all practical purposes the mitsubishi is best.
if we buy land, which is next on our list of things to save up for, we will probably need a 4X4 and something that we can haul and work with.. we will likely buy land with very little but trees and nature on it, so having a working vehicle will be key.

we want to build an earth shelter home and maybe a tree house for elwynn... or maybe we will all have our own little home somewhere scattered in the forest and connected with paths of wild flowers and kale.

this house is our dream..

it the most stunning home that i have ever seen..
it is from here.. http://www.simondale.net/house/index.htm